Here's my entry:
George W. is overheard by the same photographer and sneaky news outfit that likes to dig for dirt on their political opponents, very, very badly, with really sneaky pictures telling rescue operators, 'I'm not really a people person, I'm not really a Christian.
'I just want to manipulate everything and everyone because of my materialist philosophy. No, we materialists never project our own neurotic notions unto others. ::wink wink:::'
OK, so maybe he didn't actually use the words and symbols '::wink wink::' but we have scientifically truth-enhanced this caption because actually treating people like adults and equals is a moral fabrication interferes with out desire to free 'us' from the silly notions that produces this horrible and oppressive nation that is too stupid to vote for a 'good' socialist, whatever we eventually decide that means. But 'trust' 'us,' we 'know' what 'we' are 'doing' this time... 'We' 'think.'
(Caption enhanced from original entry)